How To Prevent Cheating In Marriage

When it comes to marriage and relationships, problems are inevitable. But cheating in marriage is, by far, the most complex and devastating crisis that can happen in a relationship. And statistics on infidelity show that it happens with great frequency. But relationships don't necessarily die because of an affair. The main keys to protecting your marriage from cheating are to be aware and proactive.

Cheating in marriages rarely happens without some underlying problem in the marriage. Time and time again, justifications for infidelity, from both men and women, point to other problems that existed in the relationship. They were obviously aware of the problems but hardly proactive. Rather than finding a way to communicate with their spouses before making the choice to cheat, men and women who have admitted to cheating in marriage will often say things like "he doesn't pay attention to me any more" or "she was more interested in her job than she was in our family". You get the picture.

Part of the process of repairing a marriage after cheating has happened is to address the pre-existing problems that contributed to the decision to cheat. In fact, some of those issues need to be brought to the table relatively quickly if you are to make any kind of decisions about what to do next. I have seen many couples suffer the consequences of cheating in marriage, rebuild trust and intimacy, and then fall victim to the same phenomenon over again. If you can't fix the underlying problems, there's a good chance you won't be able to produce a lasting relationship even if you can forgive.

As far as being aware and proactive, these are the typical and often overlooked indicators of cheating in marriage. If your instincts tell you that cheating might be a possibility in your marriage, you need to do something about it -that's the proactive part. There may be a chance to repair your marriage before cheating ever happens.

Indicators to be aware of:

o Spouse becomes detached and/ or becomes un-affectionate
o Spouse becomes reluctant to be accountable for whereabouts or activities
o Spouse becomes defensive about seemingly small issues
o Spouse has out of character mood swings
o Money missing from bank account with no/ poor explanation
o Diminished sexual attraction or desire
o Normal emotional and sexual intimacy reduced or dies completely
o Spouse suddenly has abnormal interest his or her looks, weight, clothes etc.
o Your intuition tells you there is a reason to distrust
o Spouse swings from abnormal attentiveness to complete absence

Other signs of cheating in marriage

Cheating in marriage doesn't necessarily mean sexual relations with another person. There can be other forms of infidelity that are often a precursor to a sexual affair. These include:

o Responding to someone else's needs or interests before spouse and family
o Putting work ahead of spouse and family in priority.
o Letting activities rob the relationship of too much time and intimacy. This is really about a spouse putting him or herself first.
o Spouse uses TV or computer time to escape the relationship
o Spouse wants to engage in activities that do not include you
o Spouse confides in co-worker or friend about issues between the two of you
o Fostering an emotional connection outside the marriage, secret or not

The best cure for cheating in marriage is to prevent it from happening in the first place. Marriages need to be built on a foundation of trust and respect. Most people are more aware of the last five text messages they received than they are of their own marriages. Awareness - a simple daily check, to assess where your relationship stands - can make the difference between having an open, honest marriage and one that suffers the consequences of an affair. If you do have problems that you're not addressing, there is a good chance that those fixable issues will turn into something that can't be fixed.

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